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"Out of the blue, in the midst of carving the filet mignon and discussing intricate tax law, a sweaty hand landed on my knee. I was totally mortified." |
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PINK Expert Blogs – Male-Dominated Industry TOTALLY MORTIFIED WITH LITTLE CONTROL
In 1975, I met the chairman of my company and a handful of other male CEOs in a private dining room at the very elegant Madison Hotel in Washington, D.C., where we dined with the chairman of the Senate's powerful tax-writing committee. I was the only woman as well as the very youngest in the room. With a well-rehearsed script, we hoped to convince him that our industries needed significant tax relief. A meeting with the chairman was the ultimate – heck, he held the destiny of millions of dollars in his pen. To say that I was nervous is putting it mildly.
After chit-chat over drinks, the eight of us moved to a long table where the chairman was motioned to sit right in the middle. Someone made a very bad move and told me to sit next to him. Out of the blue, in the midst of carving the filet mignon and discussing intricate tax law, a sweaty hand landed on my knee. I was totally mortified. This unexpected act immediately sucked all the blood from my face and left me dumbstruck. What was I to do? In any other case, I would have leapt up, slapped him in the face and departed ASAP! But this wasn't any old creep; he was one of the most important economic leaders in the country!
I give myself credit for recovering fairly quickly, and with a stone face I lifted his hand off my knee and placed it ever so firmly on his own. I was proud of myself. I wondered, though, how long this boring dinner was going to drone on, because I knew the chairman, seated just three inches or so from me, couldn't have been happy about what I'd done.
I guess he wasn't, because within a few seconds, he swiftly dropped that ancient, fat palm right back on my knee. This went on for several more times until I figured that there was no way I was going to win. Times are very different now, thank heavens. But in the '70s, I just had to suck it up and wait out the dinner. (Nothing but the knee transpired, thankfully.) I was outranked and outflanked, and the consequences of a more public action could have been very detrimental to my company.
I'm so gratified that young women today don't have to wait it out.
Christine J. Vineis is president of Capital Partnerships LLC, a full-service government relations firm specializing in infrastructure policy and financing. With offices in Washington, D.C., and Columbus, Ohio, the firm is a nationally recognized resource in finding funds for all kinds of infrastructure projects. capital-partnerships.com
. . . . . . . . . . . AN INTRODUCTION Today I, with total confidence, am comfortable talking to anyone – the president of the United States, Jack the Ripper or the world's leading nuclear physicist. Maybe it's because it wasn't that way at all when I moved, at age 25, off Capitol Hill and downtown to be a railroad lobbyist. I jumped over all the corporate pay grades in one fell swoop and instantly became a senior member of a Chicago conglomerate's leadership team. This was 1976. Joined by an administrative assistant who had moved up in one railroad, it was just the two of us young women. (And it became very clear to me real soon that I did not want to be like her.) Uneasy every Monday afternoon in this very new world where I felt so different and isolated, I would join the much older men and gather around the big boardroom table of the railroad association – the same table where the senior captains of the industry (their bosses) would sit once a month – if they weren't meeting at the Greenbriar for golf, the eastern shore of Maryland for more golf or other lovely golf courses. I played tennis. For two years, I ran the Washington office. Even then, I would make a beeline for the chairs around the wall on Mondays (although my employer rightfully had a seat at the table), and the much older male lobbyists would encourage me to sit there. These men – all old enough to be my father – treated me with love and care, truly as if I were their daughter or granddaughter. I have such a special place in my heart for them. Back then, the railroad reps had moved up from sales or marketing careers where they had had hefty expense accounts, progressed their golf, and been promoted up and out to Washington with their wives, who also loved golf and spending time with the grandchildren. The one- or two-martini lunch was very much the norm. The complex world of railroad finance, interchanges, rail car characteristics, and the ins and outs of railroad regulation, tariffs and more would roll off their tongues – yet it was so totally foreign to me. How was I going to learn it all? I asked a lot of questions of these older, wonderful male colleagues. But after a while, it began to make me even more uneasy, so I stopped and tried pretending to know. We all know how far this tactic will take you! I constantly grappled with the image of my title vs. the reality of my knowledge about the industry. There was the gnawing appreciation that in my 20s, female and single, I just wasn't in my element, no matter how I tried. And I didn't want to feel like anyone's granddaughter any more. So I started my own golf club where I could comfortably be myself – and risk expressing industry information gaps by asking questions. Together with the other trailblazing women in the industry, I learned to approach and sit at that boardroom table buoyed by the confidence we gave each other. The Women's Transportation Seminar (WTS) is more than 30 years old. In part due to WTS, I am not intimidated by anyone or anything – except mice and tax-exempt municipal bonds. Are you part of a professional network? If not, find one and join today. Christine J. Vineis is president of Capital Partnerships LLC, a full-service government relations firm specializing in infrastructure policy and financing. With offices in Washington, D.C., and Columbus, Ohio, the firm is a nationally recognized resource in finding funds for all kinds of infrastructure projects. capital-partnerships.com
COMMENTS: Chris, I remember just how it felt to be uneasy when I was a young professional. A very seasoned Special Agent at the Secret Service taught me a life-long lesson when I was starting out at age 21. When it was time for me to meet President Ronald Reagan for the first time, this gentleman (he was old enough to be my father) called me into his office and told me to remember that the President "put his pants on one leg at a time just like any other man", to look him in the eye and to be confident when he asked me a question. It taught me a fearlessness that has helped me become the entrepreneur I am today. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Angela Dingle, "The Female Entrepreneur": thefemaleentrepreneur.blogspot.com |
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