Diversity Blog
By Catrice Jackson

RACE DOES MATTER

Posted on September 2, 2008

 

It's 2008 and yet there are still barriers between black and white women on many interpersonal levels. Unfortunate but often true, race matters. It matters to the point that white and black women often don't know how to authentically relate to or engage each other in a way that fosters deep understanding and trust. These same complexities exist between all races and between men. However, in my experience, establishing true, deep, lifelong personal friendships with white women has been the most challenging. I am happy to say that despite the differences and difficulties, I have found success in establishing some close friendships with white women.

 

I'm confident that I am not alone in this experience, as this issue has been the topic of discussion among many other black women I know. I was curious to know whether white women had the same questions or concerns. I decided to survey 50 women I know – 25 black and 25 white – with 10 questions regarding relationships between black and white women. Forty-three women responded and shared their insights into this complex situation. Through their stories, a few themes rose to the surface. 

 

A sense of urgency: Both white and black women feel a strong need to improve relationships between each other even if they are unsure how to go about it. White women reported being understood more than black women. Specifically, black women reported they felt white women either did not understand them at all or rarely, whereas white women reported that black women understood them often or sometimes.

 

Race does matter: A theme of related terms surfaced throughout the women's comments (including fear, lack of trust, denial, frustration, racism, prejudice, privilege, lack of education, stereotypes, lack of understanding, defensiveness, avoidance and failure to actively listen to each other). Black women reported race as an "issue" that creates barriers based on personal experiences.

 

Clouded vision: White women tend to be unaware of the experiences faced by many black women, and while they know the differences exist and create barriers, they are unsure what to do about it. A few white women indicated understanding the significance of race and acknowledged that it is an issue that needs to be openly discussed.

 

A need to be understood: Black women clearly realize there are barriers, articulate them, experience them often and seek to be understood, heard, validated, and treated fairly and equal.

 

Complexity of barriers: The barriers are complex and different for each woman. Generally the women illustrate fear, poor communication, lack of interest, and prejudice/racism as the primary barriers to authentic, trusting relationships.

 

Solutions for change: It appears that women are seeking opportunities to be heard, to understand each other and to engage in dialogue that bridges the gap and helps women find common ground. Specific solutions included: workshops, social activities, dialogue sessions, long-term relationship-building and opportunities to role-play each other's life experiences.

 

Future directions

The results of this survey indicate a problem that needs to be addressed in a way where both black and white women feel heard, understood and validated. Fear is a significant factor as well as the need for dialogue to be honest, compassionate and ongoing. The issues of race, privilege, prejudice and racism must be a part of the conversation. Otherwise black and white women will continue to engage superficially or not engage at all.

 

Catriceology Enterprises will be conducting a three-part series called "Conversations in Black and White: Breaking the Ice and Creating a Space for Dialogue" beginning on September 10, 2008. Participants in this session will be exposed to the myths and realities of what it means to be black or white. Participants will discover the insider secrets of what really makes or breaks an inter-racial relationship between black and white women. Participants will be able to get the answers to the tough questions while learning how to not offend in the process. Participants will walk away with practical, realistic tools to help them begin to find the common ground with each new woman they engage with – all while discovering who they are in a greater magnitude!

 

There is much to be gained from this experiential journey. It's time to find common ground and discover the gray area that connects us as women! I'd love to hear your stories, comments and questions.

 

For more information on "Conversations in Black and White," how to create common ground in your organization or community, or general questions about improving race relations between women, contact Catrice Jackson at catriceology@catricejacksonspeaks.com or visit her website at catricejacksonspeaks.com. The full informal report will be posted to her website.

 

To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Diversity" in the subject line.

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ON RACE AND MENTORING

Posted on July 18, 2008

 

Last month, I asked several women, "Does it make a difference if your mentor is the same race as you?" I was flooded with responses from women from different racial, ethnic and cultural backgrounds. Most reported they would just be glad to have a knowledgeable mentor who cared, and although differences in race may create initial challenges, what mattered most was the quality of the mentoring relationship. Here are a few responses:

 

"I'm looking to connect with a businesswoman who is successful right now, someone who has arrived where I am trying to get. I seek a mentor who is professional and honest in sharing proven strategies to help me improve my business in marketing and sales with high-end clients, regardless of race." –Teresa

 

"If I were to be mentored by a white woman, I would want an open line of communication in which she, first and foremost, is comfortable to discuss anything, including race and culture. There are a lot of topics which are often grazed over because of fear of saying something offensive." –Angela

 

"My experience says that white women can make great mentors. In a study I conducted with women lawyers, it was frequently the white women who reached out to new attorneys, female and minority, to help them with the on-boarding process. We do share some fundamental commonalities, and that helps to build bonds." –Rita

 

While this seems promising, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that several women often said white women do not fully understand the life and career experiences of women of color. Women of color frequently face issues of racism and sexism in life and at work. It is essential that white women mentoring women of color be willing to take risks, make mistakes, learn from them and become educated on the experiences of the woman they are mentoring.

 

Eighty percent of the women indicated a preference for having a mentor who is the same race or ethnicity as them. They felt the differences in race or ethnicity would generate a slower initial mentoring pace due to the need to educate each other on the differences and work through the cultural challenges. I was delighted to discover that the rest of them said they would be willing to tackle those challenges in order to have the best mentor possible.

 

Mentorship is a relationship like any other. You get out of it what you put into it. I believe that most women want to connect with and learn from another woman who is doing what they desire to do. Many of the women I spoke with during my informal research study conclude that they seek a mentor who is knowledgeable, honest, loyal, resourceful and committed to the time it takes to be a good mentor and build a trusting relationship. Despite our differences, there is a great mutual reward when the mentor and the protégé both agree to be committed to the relationship by being willing to tackle potential challenges together.

 

For more information on how to seek a mentor, how to overcome race and culture in mentorship, or how to improve race relations among women, contact Catrice Jackson at vistawomyn@cox.net or visit her website at catricejacksonspeaks.com.

 

To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Diversity" in the subject line.

 

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WOMEN OF COLOR AND THE IDENTITY DANCE
Posted on June 11, 2008

Many women of color just want to show up and be without having to explain, be the spokesperson for their race or be judged by the color of their skin, especially in the workplace.

I danced this dance many times before launching my own speaking and training business, Emerge Consulting LLC. Over the past five years, I have held upper management positions in predominantly white organizations. I was faced daily with the dilemma of trying to fit into an exclusive system – ever mindful to put my gender and ethnicity on the back burner while engaging in the workplace. Doing this identity dance is unhealthy for women of color and consumes precious emotional and spiritual energy. There are things that you can do to minimize the stress of these challenges, remain authentic and begin to shatter glass ceilings, floors and walls.

Determine your personal and professional values – the things you refuse to compromise, such as integrity, honesty and loyalty. No job or career is worth sacrificing your morals and values.

Instead of leaving your racial and gender identity at the door, bring your whole self to the workplace. It is critical to your spiritual survival that you be as authentic as possible every day.

Align yourself with colleagues who demonstrate cultural sensitivity. They may be more likely to accept you as you are and be allies when issues of race, gender or culture arise.

Work to build positive and supportive relationships with managers. Communicate your needs and concerns directly, and don't spend time educating others about your race. It's their responsibility to become educated.

Seek a mentor; another woman of color who has arrived at the "top" and who can serve as a listening ear and guide on how to navigate in a system of exclusion.

Ultimately, you must choose your battles. While you may face frequent attacks on your character or have your credibility questioned, you have to decide what is worth giving your emotional energy to and what to ignore. Integrity is the result of being authentic or true to yourself, and if an organization is unwilling to accept you (gender and race) and your wonderful contributions, you have to determine whether you want to work for such a company.

Further reading suggestions:

Double Outsiders by Jessica Faye Carter

Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America by Charisse Jones and Kumea Shorter-Gooden

For more information about authenticity at work and other programs on cultural proficiency, contact Catrice M. Jackson, speaker, transformational trainer and life strategist – and CEO of Emerge Consulting LLC & Catriceology Enterprises – at catricejacksonspeaks.com.