ONLINE EXCLUSIVE
When a Simple Comeback Isn't Enough

Sometimes, verbally responding to a come-on is not enough;  you may need to take more serious steps.

By Rachel Pomerance

It was a record year for sexual impropriety in 2007.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) saw the first increase in sexual harassment charges in seven years as part of an overall leap in discrimination charges.

"The jump in charge filings may be due to a combination of factors, including greater awareness of the law, changing economic conditions, and increased diversity and demographic shifts in the labor force," the agency announced. Linda Gordon Howard, an attorney who specializes in sexual harassment, sees a correlation to rising unemployment. "Employment discrimination complaints rise when terminations rise," as it's often "a terminated employee's only recourse," she says.

When unbusinesslike behavior warrants more than a shrug, a raised eyebrow or a witty comeback, Patricia Mathews of Workplace Solutions Consultants suggests these steps.

To determine if a behavior is unwanted, ask yourself:

1.  Would I want the encounter to be the subject of a column in my organization's newsletter, mentioned on my company's intranet or reported on the evening news?

2.  Is there equal power between me and the person I'm interacting with?

3.  Would I behave the same way if the person I'm in a relationship with were standing next to me?

4.  Would I want someone else to act this way toward a person that I'm in a relationship with?

5.  Is there equal initiation and participation between me and the person I'm interacting with?

To indicate that a behavior is unwelcome:

1.  Talk to the harasser directly and tell him or her that you find the behavior offensive. Describe how the harassment negatively affects your work. Or say things like:

• "Stop it."
  
• "Knock it off."
  
• "No, I don't want to go out with you. Please don't ask me again."
  
• "I'd like your feedback on the quality of my work. I don't appreciate your comments on how I look."
  
• "Please call me by my name. I don't like to be referred to as 'honey' or 'sweetie.'"

2.  Do something nonverbal like putting your hands up to keep someone from coming closer, or taking someone else's hands off your waist, your shoulder, your arm. Or simply turn away or walk away.

3.  If necessary, put your objections to the harassment in writing and send a copy to the harasser, keeping one in your file. If the behavior continues, bring it to the attention of your manager and/or HR department.